Envy and jealousy are effects of anxiety based insecurity, anger and the toxic mindset of always comparing yourself with others. Jealousy in particular has very strong root in the fear of loss; be it affection, admiration, favor, job, reputation, it has to do with the fear that something is about to be taken away from you. In societies around the world where there is a strong need for validation and security the pull of jealously and the zealous watchful need to protect what one has will be on the high in form of fierce competition, sabotage, decoy and foul play.
Envy on the other hand is the desire for what others have be it lifestyle, possession, character traits or relationships. If it is not controlled at an early stage through bringing in awareness it can worsen into contempt, malice and the need to destroy others. It can also manifest as dislike for others and irritation over their prosperity. It can be fueled by the thought that one deserve recognition and success over another. Envy is a sentiment that does not respect age, race, status and stature.
When envy and jealousy are carried to extreme we find people who are ready to use threats, lies, self pity and forms of manipulation to gain control or to enter into someone’s life just to bring about loss or damages. This is usually done with the idea that if one cannot experience the good pleasure that another person enjoys, then that person should not also enjoy them.
Focusing on what one does not have rather than what one has flames envy because it keeps the individual in a state of acute dissatisfaction. Some individuals are conditioned at an early age to evaluate themselves only through comparison to others and such insecurity makes them prone to envy attacks. The false idea that one deserve a life only filled with pleasure, plenty, gain, success and gratification makes one envious of others when such expectations are not met.
Individuals who do not feel good about themselves and often seek significance in pompous positions and circumstances are highly prone to envy. Their low self-esteem makes them to be very susceptible when things are not moving so smoothly. When money, appearance, status, achievement and talent are most sort after, then we have an environment where envy and jealousy thrives due to indiscriminate desire for worldly gain and recognition.
Ask yourself these questions:
Do I feel resentment toward other people’s success, status and fame?
Do I feel the need to compete fiercely with anyone I come across in looks, money, success and more?
Do I fall into depression for not achieving what others have achieved?
Am I driven by the belief that greater material gain and success will bring about greater happiness?
Do I attack others verbally and always try to make them look small in other people’s eyes?
Do I have the habit of idolizing successful persons and making their lives the great interest of my existence?
If you do any of these you are in the grip of envy and jealousy. Be honest with yourself and admit envy and jealousy when you feel it, rather than falling into contempt, self pity, verbal abuse of others. You can work and transmute those negative feelings into something positive. And you can start by developing a lifestyle of gratitude in which you actively realize what you have in your life.
The only antidote to envy and jealousy is to cultivate self knowledge and to be grateful for what you have in your life.
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