Children are a very delicate art in themselves and the way you maneuver them will determine how good the relationship will become. Those that see children as a temporary burden to bear until their maturity are the ones that usually have it worst. Children can be either a blessing or a curse, they can add richness and joy to your life or they can bring misery and frustration into your existence.
The approach you take is what matters most and will determine the outcome. You must first see children as gifts, as individuals who come into the world with some form of innate purpose and your job is to guide them into finding it. The more you succeed at this the more happiness will be in the relationship. When a child is on the right path with destiny they will be more receptive to discipline and instruction, better equipped to handle outside influences and peer pressure.
Love is not the only solution for raising a child, there must be some strategy to keep the child under the rein of discipline and self control. The parents must find a way to give the child the control point to his or her temperament. Giving into the whims of the child can relapse the self control parents are trying to build. Deprivation of some sort will always assist the child in coming in touch with their potential. The potential of a child is all that matters in the end, and every other thing must serve in the unfolding of the potential.
There are parents who utter in frustration: “I never did that as a child”. “I was never lazy”. “I never spoke back to my parents”. What they fail to understand is: it is not what you did or did not do that governs the child’s behavior, it is what you trigger. The laziness in the child may be triggered by the way you allow the child have his or her way or you are not enforcing what you want. Watch what you trigger in the child. An example would be: if you give an adolescent access to large funds, older people will become attracted to him or her due to the funds and may alter the proper training you have invested time in building. The excess funds does the damage not the child itself.
Also keep this in mind: whatever parents hide from children and they later find out they will obsess over. If a father is always hiding alcohol from his children, which he sneaks in and out of the home, he will only make them to become very curious about alcohol. But if he keeps it in the open and the child taste it he will probably find the taste repulsive and think more about his Cola or ice cream. Whatever you hide from children and they discover may lead them into addiction later on. Fathers that smoke before their children have children that may detest smoking, but the child that catches the father smoking in the backyard may be tempted to such habit later on.
Many a problem between parents and children have root in ignorance. Some parent never take the time to know what it takes to guide their children to their calling. For when children are on the path of their calling they are more receptive to discipline and self restraint. Parents may provide but other factors will determine any child finding and reaching their potential. It surely takes more than feeding, clothing and formal learning to guide a child to reach their true potential and calling.
When it comes down to children the endgame is them realizing their potential. The parent must assist the child in this by encouraging them to be and find themselves. It can be a long and hard road to finding and expressing potential but when found and expressed can be a deep source of bonding and happiness within any family.
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